Have you ever tried it, just for the fun of it–as an experiment?
I decided I was going to start being on time as a firm habit to see if my life would improve. So rather than my loosey goosey habit of being 2, 3, 4, 5 minutes late, I am being on time or a little early intentionally, to see what happens.
I’ve never minded my “bad habit” much. It’s something that I accepted a long time ago in a “nobody’s perfect” kind of way.
You know, I really don’t think that being a little late is a big deal and I am a creative type and it goes along with my right brained air heady image. I actually LIKE it when folks are about 5 minutes late and I get quite off balance and slightly annoyed when folks are early.
But the guys that I’ve had a long term relationships with have been sticklers for time and this habit of mine has driven them crazy! Like my guy Phil for instance, I think being on time is one of his primary love and respect languages. It just is.
So I started thinking it might be easier between us if I just decided to start being on time.
Just because something is not of high value to me doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it! It is what it is. It’s a preference.
So I came up with this amazingly simple solution. You might be laughing at right now, which is ok. It’s funny!
If I’m on time, I won’t have to see Phil’s slightly pursed mouth, disapproving shrug and gaze back and forth from his watch to me. ( I actually have to aim for a little early–it’s just the way my brain works.) And I won’t have to worry that he will blow up because he’s been stuffing his feelings the last 6 or 11 times and then feel all put off with his pickiness–thinking he’s being silly, and on and on and on. It’s a vicious cycle of judging and crankiness on both of our parts.
I’m just being on time. It’s that easy. I’m going to be on time. I’m changing my habits.
And I’m observing our relationship to see how it changes. I think it will be better, but I know it will be different!
And it’s fun to see what will happen.
If YOU do something different, do you know what will happen?
You’ve heard that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
We all do the same things over and over again in our unconscious trances and think magically the other person will change to suit us. And if we ever really stop to notice and observe the cycle of it, we could do something to change it.
I would say this is the definition of normal. Each of us has most likely noticed getting locked into a familiar argument with a loved one or friend which ends badly in a very familiar way.
I certainly have. And when the argument is over, I’m scratching my head thinking “what just happened?”
Do something different with a loved one. Use your Ingenuity. (My caveat is as long as it’s not illegal, immoral, or unjust.)
It can fall into the Irrational catergory however. Just try it as an experiment. Be present and observe. It’ll be fun. Let me know how your experiments turn out!